- So explain me what happened...
- Well, Mister President, they just left.
- What do you mean "they just left" ? These...hmmm...people crossed half of the Universe to discuss with us and even before we have a chance to start really talking, they run away ?
- Uuuhhhh...Yes, sir... That's correct
- I don't understand. Tell me second per second what happened between first contact and the moment they went away.
- Yes sir. So we met them at the location indicated by the message. We did not really know if radio-astronomers decoded it correctly but there we were, in the desert night. When they arrived, we started playing again the message. Eh, it really looked like Encounters of the Third Kind. Ahaha... Sorry, Mr President.
- Hrmmm. What happened then ?
- The individual we call "the ambassador" left the spaceship and came to us. Our speech was ready, everything was right on tracks. But...
- But what ?!?
- The speaker had his speech in his pocket and when he took it, a one dollar bill fell on the ground. The "ambassador" picked it up, observed it during two or three seconds, said something like "aaaaaaaawwwwwwww" and went directly back to the spaceship. In less time that it takes to say it, the spaceship was gone... I don't understand what happened. There is nothing frightening on a dollar bill !!
- So we missed the first rendez-vous of the Human Kind with an extra-terrestrial intelligent form of life because of a one dollar bill... Ask our best experts, I need to know what's on these bills that is so scary.
- Mr President, just one more detail : the "ambassador" did not give back the one dollar bill, "he" kept it.
- So, Gaxymoz, tell us why your mission failed ?
- Your Excellency, we wanted to establish a contact with a mature civilization we could learn from. Humanity seemed to be a good candidate, they reached a correct level of technology, their last wars were during their 22nd century almost 11 human generations before present, they were mature enough to stand the shock it is to learn you're not alone in the Universe.
- So what went wrong ? You said before your mission Humanity was the best candidate we had...
- Yes your Excellency... Hum... I was wrong. When I approached the first men waiting for us outside of the spaceship, one of them let fall on the ground a small piece of printed material. I picked it up, and used my knowledge of their language to decode some text printed of this piece of what they called "paper".
- And what was written on it made you cancel the mission ?
- Yes. Look, I took it back with me. See here, this civilization is in fact in a so early stage we could not be able to share with them !
- Can you read that ?
- Oh, sorry your Excellency, yes. Here it is : "In God we trust".
People, it is highly time to move and find a place on Earth without television, radio or newspaper. The Soccer World Championship is about to start and I am already fed up with it.
Soccer, a sport where there are more players than neurons on the field.
I wish France could be eliminated from the championship the first day. What a quiet life during a month and a half we could have...
posted by Daniel Glazman at
4:01 PM
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